mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
