I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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