was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
