Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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