she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
