For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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