she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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