What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
