You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
