I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
