Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
