THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
