I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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