Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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