I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
