You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
