I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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