We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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