I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
