i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I cockslap morals
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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