Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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