my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
