I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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