U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
