That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
