literally had 100 drinks last night.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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