I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
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Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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