That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
