Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Randomize
