I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
