Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
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My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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