Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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