I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize