I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
