its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
