Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
