Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
