its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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