Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize