We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
