so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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