I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
