i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
