check it out our google latitudes are spooning
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
