but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
