how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
