Cold hands, warm shart.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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