Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
