It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
