it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
