nut hugger
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
