Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
sarcasm needs its own font
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
