Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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