ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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