By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
