is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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