I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize