you win again, gameday.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
My life is pants optional.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
