just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
