I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
